Its true tho. I've been doing a spot of counselling. Its been...revealing. In a good way (mostly). First time for everything but I've become a bit of a convert now. Don't get me wrong, I think counsellors are fantastic in what they do, its just a bit different when someone tells you YOU need to go visit one. Great exercise in overcoming pride, discovering humility, and learning to accept criticism in the name of 'self-improvement'.
I found out I have some 'distorted thinking' patterns in my life. Yep. (don't we all though?) Automatic thoughts that pop up that don't exactly help matters because they either lack perspective, are negative or even sometimes totally false. Its been
Apparently I'm an 'all or nothing' type.
And I use 'should' alot in my sentences (a bad thing). This means I tend to do things out of duty or obligation, rather than just because I'd like to. I tend to always see others 'needs', want to be there for them. Without realising that I've had no boundaries in this alot of the time. This leads to exhaustion, resentment, feeling like a failure and generally feeling like 'whats the point?'. Perhaps some of you can relate?! The other problem with this is if you're not careful, its VERY easy to find yourself putting other people ahead of your own family. As crazy as that probably sounds, its been true for me. Too busy doing things for everyone else, because I feel like I 'should' do this/that, 'should' go see this person or that, always telling myself 'thats what everyone else does so I should be able to do it all too'. It comes down to trying to give the absolute MOST of me to everyone, but often at the EXPENSE of me. Not only that, but without me even noticing (until now), when I do this what happens is the people I actually care the most about have ended up getting the dregs of me, rather than the best of me.
Do you find yourself doing this too? The problem is, friends, people don't notice when you or I are burning out. We need to learn to notice it with our own eyes. Start to prioritise our own needs, not just those of everyone else around us.
Liberating, yet difficult. A learning curve that requires focus but gets easier the more you practice it.
Lots to think about (I could go on but I won't). Instead of beating myself up about some of these things though, I'm choosing to see it as a positive thing. Thanks to counselling, I can be intentional in fixing some of these issues, and have some realistic strategies to do that.
It was quite funny...not long after I started this counselling thing, I was sitting in the waiting room and saw the word THERAPIST on the noticeboard in front of me. I was kinda freaked. I realised I had a major aversion to the word. Counsellor? Yep fine. Therapist? No way do I need a therapist! hahahaha... (don't worry I've worked through it now and its all good ;-))
So...in all seriousness though. If you've never had counselling (and I realise it can be expensive nowadays - I got some funding from my doctor which helped), and you feel like you're just continually struggling with the same old stuff and not getting anywhere, I'd recommend it. Or perhaps you've been through some pretty major trauma in recent times and having difficulty finding a way through (like me). We tend to work on our physical bodies, i.e. we eat well, try to be fit and healthy. But we sometimes forget about the emotional/mental side of who we are. What makes us tick, and why we do things the way we do. I've found it really empowering. In fact, thats a bit of an understatement. I am in a totally different place at the end of it than I was at the beginning.
So... what do you think about counselling? You don't have to tell me why you went, but I'd be really keen to hear whether you found it beneficial and in what way.
