Remembering my dad

My dad would have been 62 yesterday.  He passed away in January from a sudden heart attack.  We decided to have takeaways at Orewa Beach as he had lived on the beachfront and often used to fish off the beach.

My mum, one of my brothers and his wife and kids joined us.  It was lovely.  We scattered some flowers into the sea and said Happy Birthday as we did so.  One of the kids said God would probably be able to lift up the flowers and give them to Poppa in Heaven.  :-)

Miss you Dad.

Content in the craziness

This life is busy.  There is always so much to do, and not enough hours in the day.

I've made so many lists in my life.  Really.  My problem is, I end up doing a whole lot of things that aren't even on the list instead.  Why is this?  I guess though, if nothing else, having the list creates momentum and focus, cos people like me generally prefer to just go with the flow, see where the wind takes us.  Trouble is, I find this can also make it hard to get things done, and sometimes to stick with a routine when I need one.

So anyway, this year I've found myself really thinking about how we do family.  It started in February when I asked God for a word and he gave me two - 'enjoy' and 'engage'. I realised I really wasn't engaged or enjoying my family - alot of times I was there, but not really there.  Thus began a bit of a journey of trying to be more intentional in the everyday.  Focussing on enjoying and engaging, rather than just doing.  Not just rushing around keeping everyone happy and entertained, but slowing down and enjoying the ride that is life.

Its funny how being more intentional about things has also made me more content.  I've realised I can be content now even if things could always be better.  I'm not really convinced this whole work/life balance thing even exists anymore; maybe we've all just gotta get better at rolling with it.

This is what I've learned this year.

Be intentional.  Work on your relationships - with other people as well as with yourself!

For me, this has meant:

#  getting more sleep each night

#  creating more 'warm fuzzy' moments (quality time) with my kids

#  letting go of my need to do things perfectly, or do it myself

#  learning to reeeeeeeeelllaaaxxxxxx.  Sitting down and have a cuppa, not drinking it on.the.go.

#  using my phone as a diary for all the 'must-do' tasks each week.

And you know what?  I'm a do-er and I have known that about myself forever.  Another thing I've learned this year is this.  I do not need to do everything now.  Nor do I need to it all perfectly.  There are no rules other than the ones we place on ourselves.

Slowing down and enjoying life does not mean I go and go and go until I crash into my bed each night.  (speaking to myself here).  I want to stop and dance with my kids when the music comes on.  I want to do stuff with them, not just provide entertainment for them.  I want to have time for cuddles.  Unrushed, all-the-time-in-the-world cuddles.

2012 has taught me that life is fleeting.  In ways I don't care to experience again. Seriously, we don't know what tomorrow or next week may bring.

Relationships mean more than to-do lists.

This year I've gotten better at:

#  saying no

#  not filling up our weekends til they're crammed

#  doing stuff just the 5 of us

#  making sure we sit down and eat TOGETHER each night.  Talking.  Laughing.

#  reading stories with the kids

#  being silly

#  enjoying our wee family

#  not comparing what other people do (or have)


I am content.  Even in the craziness.

loved this billboard for Levis on a recent trip to Wellington